Mother Teresa and Princess Diana are sitting in a church discussing current affairs when Marilyn Monroe walks in…
TERESA: <gasps> What in God’s– Father, forgive me– is she doing here?
DIANA: I like her dress.
TERESA: Call her over. I ought to tell her to cover herself up. The poor pastor… The children…
DIANA: Monroe! Here!
TERESA: Come here, girl. Are you getting married… AGAIN?
DIANA: What brings you to these parts? Some publicity stunt?
MARILYN: <giggles> Heard you girls were having a chat. I love to chat. You see the new Bond flick. It’s so silly, but Daniel… Ooh. I’d put a ring on that. And you know where! <winks>
TERESA: Goodness! Could you control yourself, woman. This is the house of God.
MARILYN: <giggles> Calm down, Mother. We’re already dead. And there’s no brimstone here, is there?
DIANA: She’s got a point. What do you think of that development? Could this be purgatory or something.
TERESA: Don’t ask me, D. I am at my wits end about all this. What with having you here. Mind you, I heard about the one on the side. And now her! I’m beginning to wonder if all that sacrifice was worth it. <sighs>
MARILYN: <giggles> So who you seeing now, P.O.W.?
MARILYN: What was that? Princes of something… Waterloo? Or Washington?
DIANA: Oh. It’s Wales. And that’s just a title. The frigging royal class– my foot.
TERESA: But you got to do a lot of charity work because of that name. God works in mysterious ways.
DIANA: You’re telling me! Charles for instance. Good riddance.
MARILYN: <giggles> Oh, I wouldn’t mind Harry… <giggles>
TERESA: Woman! He’s young enough to be your grandson! (hushed, to Diana) What’s she doing here?
MARILYN: Just relax. So you girls planning to hit the clubs tonight?
DIANA: I wouldn’t mind–
TERESA: (interrupts) No! We got better things to do.
MARILYN: Suit yourself. I hear Amy Scotchhouse is performing somewhere.
DIANA: Winehouse! Jeez, Lyn! Is she still high all the time, though? She was hardly coherent at her last gig. I went up to her and she was like– pardon my French– fudge off! <rolls her eyes>
TERESA: What d’you mean? What kind of fudge was it? Wonder how she stays so thin eating like that.
DIANA: <stares at Teresa for a moment> Lyn, I think I’ll join you. Kinda bored here anyway.
TERESA: Well, you girls be good. Just because you’ve made it, doesn’t mean they can’t kick you out.
MARILYN: <giggles> Whatever. <sticks her tongue out>
DIANA: See you later, T. Hail Mary! Or is it Hail Marilyn! Ha, ha.