Demisexual

It is that emotion
Always out of grasp
That steady gradual complete
Death of my self

I keep hoping
Searching for it in every smile
A kind word spoken
That secret closeness

Is it in a being?
A mass of nerve endings
Different shape and bearing
More than a reflection

I fall and fall and fall
Believing I’ve learned some lesson
How can I cease what I don’t understand?
Find what I haven’t known

There is no fear of flight
To savor every particle of another
Accepting even hatred
Passion that never rests

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Resolution

Follow the line
Every starship
Follow the call
Every whisper
Follow the tug
Pulling you to the edge
Of control

Give in to the ache
It is fleeting
Give till you can’t hold back
Keep seeking
Give all you have
Reaching to the utmost depths
Then further on

Stay the course
It won’t be long
Stay true
Protect what’s inside you
Stay in touch
Of all that make’s you pure
Remain strong

Cast

If I were kinder to myself
Maybe I could look in the mirror
And not see the flaws
Others have pointed out
Or made reference to
Without stopping to ponder
How carefully my soles touch the ground

If I were over confident
Maybe the mirror wouldn’t exist
I’d be caught up in the persona I exude
Unaware of compliments and curses
Heedless to any failure
And unable to bear any kind of weakness
Only focused on my own pleasure

If I were honest at what I saw
The opaque surface reflecting not distorting
Revealing every beautiful dent of individuality
Every scar and wrinkle earned
If all my glories rested in my service
All my achievements brought joy to others
I’d have seen further than mere appearance
Touched the divine connecting us

The Awakening

If I had never laid eyes on you
seeing you wouldn’t have made any difference

If I hadn’t spent sleepless nights
trying to feed the desires you captivated
touching you wouldn’t have been cathartic

If I had never come this far
and given up at the first sign of failure
I’d never have looked into your eyes
or touched your face

I couldn’t go back to not knowing you
and all my unrest has magnified
for your presence is what I crave
your love, a safe harbour in my ocean.

Further, My Heart

Past, present, future
You were meant for something better
Dragged down, walked over, missed out on
You’re still here

Chin up, arms open, eyes sparkle
What matters is what you’ve learnt
When everything fails to last
You’ll still go on

The infinite, the temporal, the futile
Hold on to what you yearn
Embrace what you hid away
You’re almost there

Hopes, wishes, dreams
From crutches we are weaned
The tip of your peak’s in view
You’ll pull through